- They know all this really obscure stuff about music like keys and time signatures and stuff.
- They are always listening to weird music by people I have never heard of like the Emerson String Quartet or Pierre Boulez. I mean, how do you even pronounce that? Booolay? Bulezzz?
- Half the time, you're talking to them, you don't even know if they are listening or not?
- They actually listen to music on "sound systems" with "subwoofers" and stuff instead of a laptop or iPod like the rest of us!
- You start to tell them about this great new song you just heard, Lean On by Major Lazer, and they just glaze over and start muttering about "derivative reggae clone with low-fat musical content..."
- They are actually proud of never having heard anything by Justin Bieber who is just, like, loved by so many beliebers!
- Classical music is the dead penumbra of obsolete white privilege, so why do they act like they have all the good music?
And now, for our musical envoi, "Lean On" by Major Lazer, featuring MØ on vocals: