One commenter offers the solution of simply keeping everything in one's own hands as a composer. This is something impossible to do when working with a unionized orchestra so she just doesn't compose for orchestras. It seems to me that there needs to be some flexibility here. Composers ought to have some rights in recordings of their music. If they use an orchestral recording for commercial gain, then the orchestra should have a right to legal redress--but they have to prove their case. Simply refusing access to an existent recording of a composer's music sounds like prior restraint, which ought not to be possible in jurisdictions like the US.
Perhaps there could be a standard waiver that all parties sign beforehand that states that the composer will be granted a copy of the recording of the performance of their music on the condition that it not be broadcast or played back for commercial gain. Then the orchestra can have legal redress. Wouldn't that solve the problem?
Now let's listen to some of Nico Mulhy's music.
That's a pretty interesting piece with real focus.